It’s about perspective

I really hate when I am feeling down and people tell me to change my perspective or give me examples of how I could be worse off. Generally it is not what I need to hear. It is apparently what I need though. I mean, I probably want to figure it out on my own rather than listen to some positive thinking guru with nothing going wrong in their own life, but still, I do need to change my perspective. I’m trying.

There actually is more to life than running and I do know that, but when I can’t run, it seems like the world is crashing down around me. I feel ripped off and that I am being punished. I feel angry and snappy. I decided last week it was time to get over myself. Yes I can’t run, yes my foot still hurts, yes I had to miss a race, but hey I have a bike. On the weekend I even had a friend to go on a cycling adventure with and guess what, it wasn’t so bad to miss Glasshouse. Sometimes I am a bit of a wanker.

Gutted

I would like to be positive. I would like to look at the good points. I would like to laugh it off as shit luck and just move on. I am going to stomp and scream and have a general tantrum though. Why? Because it isn't fair. It really isn't fair. I have been a runner only in theory recently. Firstly I got really busy. Every night after work I ended up with other commitments that I just couldn't get out of. Then I got sick. Then my foot started to hurt. Now my foot hasn't stopped hurting. So it has been over a month with basically no running. I could deal with the bad training though. I could get past that and just smash out two week of really good training and be back on track. What I can't handle is the foot injury. Nothing is confirmed yet, but it has been hurting for over a week and it is a fairly similar pain to the stress fracture I had last year. My podiatrist has told me to come back in so he can reassess. I have a sinking feeling that I will be in a moon boot in a couple of weeks and you know what, it isn't fair. I worked my ass off in the last 12 months to avoid these kind of injuries. I dropped my weekly mileage a lot and worked on making myself stronger through lots of cross training and running drills. I regularly visit my podiatrist just to check everything is going well and my shoes are still suitable for me. I never run on niggles or pain. Despite that, I'm back here again. It seems I will never make progress. I will never be a good runner. And yes I am whinging and complaining and being a big sook, but I don't care. I am gutted.